We were driving to birmingham, alabama and my buddy keith was driving the truck

And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac.

She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that big fat bitch.

So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went.

Big fat bitch

She's a big ol big ol fat bitch

She goes to ryan's and they say, "shit!

This one's gonna cost us...

She's a big ol bitch!"

She's a big ol bitch.

She sweats grits

You can hide a pound of dope

Under one of her tits.

Big fat bitch

She's a big ol bitch.

Who stole christmas?

The grinch

Who stole the twinkies?

Big fat bitch!

She's a big ol bitch.

Yeah she had this cajun friend

Who had a pet alligator

She ate that some-bitch

Like it was a green now n later

Or a fried green da-mator

You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush

To masterbate her.

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch.

When she was eight years old she had a pogo stick that would say, "hey wanda!"

And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"

And now her pogo stick says, "holy fucking shit!"

And they go "bount. bount."

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch.

She gargles and drools and spits

And she makes all kinds of noise

She chases the ice cream man down cunningham

In her corduroys.

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!