I was blue and lonely, I couldn't sleep a wink

And I could only get unconscious if I'd had to much to drink.

There was somehow, something wrong somewhere, and each day seemed grey and dead

The seeds of desperation were growing in my head.

I needed inspiration, a brand new start in life,

Somewhere to place affection, but I didn't want a wife.

And then by lucky chance I saw [in] a special magazine

An ad. that was unusual, the like I'd never seen,

"Experience something different with our new imported toy,

She's loving, warm, inflatible and a guarantee of joy."

She came all wrapped in cardboard, all pink and shrivelled down

A breath of air was all she needed to make her lose that frown.

I took her to the bedroom and pumped her with some life,

And later in a moment that girl became my wife.

And so I sit her in the corner and sometimes stroke her hair

And when I'm feeling naughty I blow her up with air

She's cuddly and she's bouncy, she's like a rubber ball,

I bounce her in the kitchen and I bounce her in the hall.

[And now my life is different since sally came my way]

I wake up [in the] morning and have her on a tray

She's everything they say she was and I wear a permanent grin,

And I only have to worry in case my girl wears pins.