(The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix)

Some dude once said that love is a many funny things

I know there's a perfect girl out there for me, cuz I see her

in my dreams

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one

Out there for me

My love

Dream girl you amaze me all dressed in paisley

Love how not one but both eyes are lazy

When I first saw you you were drivin' the bus

Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all crumby

Skin like asphalt, nose so runny

Thick thighs, no waist, not a care in the world

You not crazy girl, you just my baby girl

If you envision in sweats with the neon patch

Half eaten squirrel hangin' outta your mouth

Rainbow poncho, the female tonto

Hear a loud noise drop a bucket like a bronco

Dream girl, you're a fantasy, you're the only one

Out there for me

My love

You got your cellphone ring set to Sex and the City

You like a hot bowl of gritz only way more gritty

Straight drippin' your turquoise my Santa Fe queen

One short leg you got the Santa Fe Lean

It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep

And when you lift your skirt in public yo I can't help but peek

You like Cleopatra with the eyes of a pig

Love to watch you in the backer when you go out to dig

Girl how'd you get those mouse traps glued to your neck

Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck?

You put away slurpees like a trash can

Your smiles all stainy and your not too brainy and

I like that!

Talking to your shoes lke it's your friend

I like that!

Yellin' at the walls of make pretend

I like that!

Tellin' you to stop it then you don't

You said you gonna stop it in my sleep

But you won't!

Last week thought I saw you on the straight turn that was a bag of trash

Just a big ol' bag of trash

I thought you look like a bag of trash

Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room

Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon

Your sexy and your spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix

And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mitts

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British

Never take the Chex Mix cuz you always get skinnish

Open clamps with both feet cuz your ambidextrous

No point cuz we know you eat nothin' but Chex Mix

Chex Mix number one food snack in the land

It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand

Chex Mix at your local grocer buy your box

Your family will all say

CHEX MIX ROCKS!

Chex Mix, your the snack for me, your the only one

I'll ever eat or buy

Chex Mix your delicious, you got 60% less fat than potato chips

The end