Guess I'll end this life alone

I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts that pass right through me

All the douchebags in my phone

Play 'em like a slot machine, if they're winning, I'm just losing.

A boy who's jacked and kind

Can't find his ass to save my life.

Oh, it's slim pickins

If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'

Just to get my fixins

Since the good ones are deceased or taken

I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'.

Jesus, what's a girl to do?

This boy doesn't even know the difference between "there", "their", and "they are"

Yet, he's naked in my room

Missin' all the things he's missin', god knows that he isn't livin' large.

A boy who's nice, that breathes

I swear, he's nowhere to be seen.

It's slim pickins

If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'

Just to get my fixins

Since the good ones are deceased or taken

I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

Moanin' and bitchin'.

Since the good ones call their exes wasted

And since the lord forgot my gay awakening

Then I'll just be here in the kitchen

Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'.