I come from a land of kebabs and curries,

Second helpings, no worries.

Pile the carbs upon the plate,

Then one day, it's too late.

No breakfast, no luncheon,

Just carpets I'm munching,

A thimble of self-esteem.

Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter,

The saddest that I've ever been.

You just can't be portly, not this side of 40,

Showbiz, a single chin game.

Scum paparazzi's and weight police nasties

Have narrowed the hall of fame.

No one likes a fat pop star,

Pop is a place for the thin.

No one likes a fat pop star,

We want to hear thin people sing!

When I get faint, I chew through my restraints

It's the best meal that I've had all week.

If I could eat my own words, I'd tear through the verbs

But nobody pays me to speak.

No one likes a fat pop star,

Pop is a place for the thin.

No one like a fat pop star

We want to hear thin people sing!

Now you've upset me, I feel like a snack.

A packet of minstrels, a pie and a nap.

So what's wrong with that?

No breakfast, no luncheon,

Just carpets I'm munching,

A thimble of self-esteem.

Glazed nothing for afters, an absence of laughter,

The thinnest that I've ever been.

Thank you