The car's always there at nine

Though he's never out on time

Night after night

Line after line

He'll be fine

I suppose

The famous mr. jones.

He really should relax

He's due a heart attack

Though there's no heart to attack

Is it an act?

No one knows

The naughty mr. jones.

In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever

Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever

We all know that you know you're a national treasure

Mrs. jones you made the best boy ever, ever

E-v-e-r.

He's careful with his weight

Pushes food around the plate

He can never pass as straight

Ask his mates

How it goes

The careful mr. jones.

Even his mother thinks he's odd

He hasn't got a proper job

But he says neither did god

And he's the lord

As it goes

The mighty mr. jones.

In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever

Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever

We all know that you know you're a national treasure

Mrs. jones you made the best boy ever, ever

E-v-e-r.

In a world full of weird, you're the oddest ever

Heard you brought everyone here so much pleasure, clever

We all know that you know you're a national treasure

Mrs. jones you made the best boy ever, ever

E-v-e-r.

The moral of this tale

Is when everything's for sale

Good men seldom prevail

They all fail

As he knows

The gifted mr. jones.