Well, I've been swinging through these swinging doors for, aww,

Goin' on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10

And I watch old joe at the end of the bar with another hot woman

On his one good arm and they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin', again

So I finally had to ask old joe,

Man, what's your secret to success, your power of persuasion over the opposite sex....

And he says, son, well, honestly, it's pretty simple...

He said, I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink and open up my mouth and...

Lie I tell her I'm a movie star

I just flew into town to buy this bar

I'm only here tonight, that's right

I gotta go, yeah, we're filming on location down in mexico

Would you believe that I got the leading role?

That's right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you'd probably know...

Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do

Anything it takes to make her think you're cool

Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try

Just walk right up and smile and look her dead in the eye

And lie

That's right lie

So I tried and tried a couple weekends and

It was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again

But I narrowed it down, and I scratched it out, and I came up with something

That without a doubt I knew, I was gonna make old joe proud

And I go up and I'd say

Hi honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life

I've been waiting such a long, long time

And you know what honey?

Meetin' you here, man, it just really feels like fate

Oh I, I bet you didn't see me as a marrying type

Let's take it slow I don't just want one night, oh no darlin'

If you're looking for that you might as well look somewhere else

Well, because I'm just not that kind of guy.

And

Kids, oh I love kids

Dogs, in-laws, and a piece of land

Dirty diapers in my mini van

Aw man, I can hardly wait.

Oh a man has got to do what a man's gotta do

Anything it takes to make her think you're cool

Aw, you got nothin' to lose so go on and try

Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye

You know what you got to do, lie

That's right you gotta lie

Sometimes you gotta lie.