I woke up on the ground

I guess I shoulda kept that shit to myself

Turns out, I'm pretty good at runnin' my mouth

But not good enough

You know, when I go in, it's lights out

I couldn't hear a thing 'cause the song was too loud

Last night I had 32 teeth in my mouth

Some went away.

Why'd you have to go and fucking ruin my day?

You're the reason why I got my ass kicked

But you're the only way to drown my sadness

This is my love/hate letter out to alcohol

You're the reason why I got my ass kicked.

I was laid out flat, like a centerfold

Jakey and his partner drove me home

Lookin' in a mirror, somethin's wrong

Let me get my dentist on the phone

Found my keys, then I went back out

Someone asked me how it all went down

I remember like it's yesterday.

I took a shot, took a shot, took a shot, took another shot

Fell right out my fuckin' chair, swingin' for his eye

Then a big, chrome ring flew in from the side

I thought I died.

Why'd you have to go and fucking ruin my night?

You're the reason why I got my ass kicked

But you're the only way to drown my sadness

This is my love/hate letter out to alcohol

You're the reason why I got my ass kicked.