[Dial tone]

[Numbers being pressed]

Hello, thank you for calling disturbing tha peace.

To help expodate your call, please listen carefully to the following options.

If you're calling to solicit a demo tape, press 1.

If you're calling regarding a job, press 2.

If you're calling to borrow money, press 3.

If you're calling to find the nearest weed spot in your area, press 4.

If you're out of alcohol on sunday, press 5.

If you need a ho for the evening, press 6.

If you woke up with a hangover and a pair of hairy balls on your forehead, press 7.

[Number gets pressed]

You've just pressed 7.

You've been victimized and introduced to a moral crime known as t baggin'.

We suggest you probably hang up the phone, beat the ass of any white guys you hung out with

Last night, and find and destroy all photos before they appear on the internet.

Thank you for calling.

Good luck.

Goodbye.