Alright

I'm laying in bed

With a lit cigarette

Can't say if last night

Was a blonde or brunette

Megan fox is on the phone

Keeps blowing me up

And there's three shots of whiskey

In my coffee cup

I'm a bad mutha fucka, heeh

(Hehehehe)

I'm a bad mutha fucka

(I'm a bad mutha fucka! hehehe)

I can polish off a bottle

In the blink of an eye

I can drink all night

And not pay a dime

Just to soon kick your ass

As I take a piss

Even fuckin' chuck norris

Don't want none of this

I'm a bad mutha fucka (hehe)

I can pick up any chick

I meet at the bar

I can even take the one

Right off of your arm

I got a woman at home

Got a kid on the way

I got a girl in new york

And four more in l.a.

I'm a bad mutha fucka

(Mutha fucka, hehehe)

I'm a bad mutha fucka (hehe)

(Hahaha)

I got hookers by the hand

Four-five at a time

But they're the ones paying me

By the end of the night

Pimps hunt me down

And try to get the cash

And then me and samuel jackson

Bust a cap in their ass

We're bad mutha fuckas (hæh!)

Bad mutha fuckas, come on

(Hahaha)

Writing bad checks

To the i.r.s.

I'm a master at passing

Sobriety tests

(Hahaha!)

Selling dope to the hot topic

Kids at the mall

I'm like o.j. baby

I get away with it all

(Hahaha!)

It wasn't me

(Hahaha!)

I'm a bad mutha fucka (hehehe)

And he's in jail mutha fucka, come on

I got a room in my house

For my ten foot bong

I'm pretty sure george thorogood

Wrote me a song

I'm a bad, bad, bad

To the bone, mutha fucka

Bad to the bone

(Bad mutha fucka!)

There's only one motherfucker that may be badder than me

And that would be rob corddry

(Hahaha)

By the way

Before I sing this

You should know

I was raised catholic

But

I'm a virgin alterboy

(Hahaha)

I get stoned on sunday

Take my grandma to church

I pick up all the girls

In catholic skirts

Tell them that I got

A big van full of toys

Hell it looks better than the preacher

Jerking off little boys

He's worse than a bad mutha fucka

(Hahaha)

I'm a bad mutha fucka

He's a bad bad man

(Hahaha!)

Just saying

Don't even know what to call that

Burning in hell?

My dad is so proud of me, hahaha

(Hahaha)