In the fortress of gwar, much torment does remain

Despite all of the bodies that had been hacked in twain

So many had died in the viscous campaign

That their femurs alone made a fine mountain

The master was no longer gwar's sovereign

Of wealth and women they had none to gain

What goal was left for them to attain

So oderus did call for conclave

First came balsac, his council was wise

His war-axe gleamed, he was a loyal knight

Plus 40 dancing bears he did provide

Then, first in prowess, he stood his lord beside

Beefcake the mighty, his ass was wide

Brought 80 laden oxen, he was a good ally

Jizmak the gusha, his legion was described

For many hours he barked at the tribe

But then, timely, the catering arrived

Booze, drugs, food, 400 hundred mule-loads high

Flattus maximus, this he did supply

And now the mighty brothers of gwar did band

They will to journey and slay without plan

Bring sledge and terror to the cities of man

Open oberammergau

Like hell was a womb, it tore

And from the womb the creatures poured

Troll, goblin, manticore

Siege machine and armored whore

There will be battle like never before

The surface world learned of the malaise

Black pope, usurper, he saw through the veil

They plan their defense in the land of the wasted

Africa, bitter fruit she had tasted

Ensign of industry, let it be raised

There the camp of the black pope was placed

His legions breath, through the valleys the raced

Charlots they rode, and their skulls were iron-plated

Belching fire, freshly painted

8000 battalions of knights freshly sainted

But before they fought, they were vaccinated

To protect them from the aids that had been created

To continue the reign of black pope unabated

The people at home, got a version g-rated

Here the gwar invaded

Began the violation

The war barges, forecastles swarming

Disgorging the troops, formations forming

The low drone of the horning

Sounding out a call, then a warning

A nuclear salvo where gwar was encroaching

Within a second 10 legions were toasting

Balsac said, "did you feel something?"

The lord was not boasting

The enemy is vast, steel carpets the terrain

Still they are forming, armors detrains

They send forth a captain, oj by name

Flattus struck him in the brain

Burst the helmet, made two parts of the mind

Chopped through his gorget, through chest, into spine

And the good captains blood flowed like wine

Flattus said, "so ends a cowards time."

Balsac is angry, he'll have no more

He hurls his axe, with great effort

To smite regis with terrible force

His shield breaks, his hauberk unsews

The axe bursts through his chest and torso

Bright blood spurts, the guts are loosed by the throw

And with that axe the soul from body goes

Said jizmak, "that was a heavy blow."

Beefcake the mighty, clotted with spew

His sword falls, skulls burst in two

The eyes burst from sockets, he is not through

Thousands of warriors he does this to

Piling up the corpses of those he slew

Until it was hard to tell if the pile grew

Balsac said, "he is a princely lord"

Said beefcake, "yes, it's true."

Jizmak smites, his hammer whirls

Foreheads explode, entrails twirl

Breaking open brain-pans as well

Red blood flowing as souls speed to hell

Oderus smites the black pope, exposing his brain

The blade continued through meat and membrane

Bright blood flowed in the grass where he was lain

Here ends this tale, that much is plain