[Intro]

You fucking grou...

Pick up the goddamn phone

[Verse 1]

Bitch, where the fuck were you tuesday

With who you say

I wasn't at the studio bitch

What'cha do screw dre

You went there looking for me

Boo, that excuse is too lame

Keep playing me you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg

You fake, lying slut you never told me you knew drake

And lupe, you want to lose two legs

You try to flip this on me

If I spent more time with you

You say "okay yeah, I'm cuckoo, hey?"

Well, screw you

And I'd be the third person who screwed you today

Oh, four; dre, drake, lupe -- ooo touché

You were too two-faced for me

Thought you was my number one, true-blue ace but you ain't

And I can see you and you make that little boo-boo face

Cause I'm hanging up this phone boo

You make my fucking bluetooth ache

You feeling blue too late, go smurf yourself

You make me wanna smurfin' puke blue kool aid

Here's what you say to someone you hate

[Hook]

My life will be so much better

If you just dropped dead

I was laying in bed last night thinking

And this thought just popped in my head

And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier

If you dropped dead

I would feel so much better

[Verse 2]

Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink

Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think

Then the cops pulled me over but they let me go

Cause I told 'em I'm only driving drunk, cause that bitch drove me to drink

I'm back on my fuck hoes, but a whole new hatred for blondes

But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby come on

Excuse the pun but bitch is such a broad statement

And I am channeling my anger through every single station it's on

Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say he-art

Cause you ripped it in two pa-arts, and threw it in the garbage

Who do you think you are, bitch

Guess it's time for me to get the dust off and pick myself up off the carpet

But I'll never say the l-word again, I l-l-l-l... lesbian

Ahh, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest

My life would be so much better if you just

[Hook]

[Bridge]

Cause you told me, you love me, forever, bitch, that was a lie

Now I never, wanted someone, to die, so bad in my fucking life

But fuck it, there's other fish in the sea

[Verse 3]

And I'mma have a whale of a time

Being a single sailor for the night

Bitch on a scale of, 1 to 10

Shit, I must be the holy grail of, catches

Ho, I got an oscar attached to my fucking name, de la

I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor made for me

Say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered and nail her

These bitches tryna get attached but they're failing to latch onto the tail

Of my bumper they're scratching at the back of my trailer like I'm itching to get hitched

Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch

But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch

Bitch you complain when you listen to this

But you still throw yourself at me

That's what I call pitchin' a bitch

That's why I'm swinging at this chicks on sight

Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike

So all that love shit is null and void, bitch I'm a droid

I avoid cupid, stupid wasn't for blowjobs you'd be unemployed

Oi-oi-oi, man oh man, your boy-boy-boy's getting sick of these girls-girls-girls

Oink-oink-oink, you fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink

"I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one"

She's all 99 of 'em; I need a machine gun

I take 'em all out; I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest

Have a heart attack and just drop dead

And I'mma throw a fucking party after this, cause yes

[Hook]

[Outro]

I'm just playing bitch, you know I love you