I remember sayin' I don't care either way

Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok

Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen

And said "ya see that thing right there well ya know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be

And I thought heaven help us if hes anything like me

He'll probably climb a tree to tall and ride hes bike to fast

End up every summer wearin something in a cast

Hes gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street

Hes gonna get in trouble oh hes gonna get in fights

Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up

With a magnifying glass tryin to melt the tonka truck

Wont he be a sight with his football helmet on

That'll be his first love til his first love comes along

He'll get his heart broke by the time hes in his teens

And heaven help him if hes anything like me

He'll probably stay out to late and drive his car to fast

Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass

Hes gonna get caught skippin class and be ground for a week

Hes gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights

Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep

Its safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

Hes gonna love me and hate me along the way

Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day

Hes gonna hug hes momma hes gonna shake my hand

Hes gonna act like he can't wait to leave

But as he drives out he'll cry hes eyes out

If hes anything like me (can't understand)

Aw he'll be alright if hes anything like me