Yeah, I'm such a liar

One time I told you

You were the highlight

Of all of my sexual life.

While I'm confessing

When you're undressing

I was picking the lock

On your safe with my knife

Einstein.

If you're so naive

That you believe

Everything I said to you

Well, I got your sex

And wrote you rubber checks

Well, what did you think

I was gonna do.

My reputation for exaggeration

It never got to you

That's why I left duluth

Sometimes I stretch the truth.

My dearest darling

You know that luggage

It belonged to the blond

With the really nice pair

And incidentally

I sorely missed you

The pain was so hard to bear.

If I would rate you

Not that I hate you

But you would end up

Eighth, maybe ninth in your class.

Your build is hot now

If you could use your

Brain like you use your ass.

Oh, you're so naive

How could you believe

Everything I said to you.

My reputation for exaggeration

It never got to you

Sometimes I'm so uncouth

Sometimes I stretch the truth.

Hey, I'm such a liar

One time I told you

You were the highlight

Of all of my sexual life.

I'm remarkably insincere

Incredibly insincere

Totally insincere

Oh don't take it so hard, my dear

I'm consistently insincere.