I wake up every morning, six o'clock, i`m right on time

I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie

I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats

I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat

'cause i`m the man of the year

I`m the man of the year

I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school

My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel

'cause I'm the man of the year

I`m the man of the year

'cause I'm the man of the year

I`m never, ever jealous

Never, ever cruel

I`m a graduate of harvard

Where I never broke the rules

The queen made me a knight

The pope made me a saint

The president plays golf with me

I make madonna faint

So why am I so lonely

Depressed and in despair

If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care

It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state

And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can`t wait

To meet the man of the year

I`m the man of the year

Stand in line to meet the man

I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man