I don't drink tea

Or white chablis

I sit around and watch tv

Don't send flowers

Or take showers

But I'll be there to pull your weeds

Oh yeah

I don't read books

I don't french cook

Or stroll around in galleries

I hate opera

I hate oprah

Don't fill my head with poetry.

You just want to squeeze my masculinity

Why can't you leave it alone

Hey, hey I ain't gonna change

Hey, hey don't you love it this way

Hey, hey I am what I am

So please understand

I'm not you fantasy man.

I don't do dishes

And I'm suspicious

Of any grown-up man who does

I'm homophobic

Don't do aerobics

Just lay around and catch a buzz.

You just want to squeeze my masculinity

Why can't you leave it alone

Hey, hey I ain't gonna change

Hey, hey don't you love it this way

Hey, hey I am what I am

So please understand

I'm not you fantasy man.

Hey, hey I ain't gonna change

Hey, hey don't you love me this way

Hey, hey I am what I am

So please understand

I'm not your fantasy man.

You just want to squeeze my masculinity

Why can't you leave it alone

Hey, hey I ain't gonna change

Hey, hey don't you love it this way

Hey, hey I am what I am

So please understand

I'm not you fantasy man.